Tag Archives: Humor

Oct4

Spook up your Halloween with these creepy plants

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Spook up your Halloween with these creepy plants
Spook up your Halloween with these creepy plants

If you thought Venus Fly Traps were scary, just wait until your guests see these these scary sprouts. Talk about creeper vines.

Welcome to Day One of Paper Calliope’s 13 Days of October. Each post in October will feature a unique October-themed craft. These projects aren’t for the faint of heart. All you mummies with young children should carefully wrap up and tuck away your tender little ones before attempting any of these projects. Even if you don’t try them, you are sure to be sent to an early grave by all my horrible Halloween puns. Read the rest of this entry →

Oct1

Paper Calliope’s 13 Days of October

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Paper Calliope’s 13 Days of October

Paper Calliope 13-days-of-october

Do you dare enter the halls of Paper Calliope during the month of October? Brave souls will unearth tutorials for 13 hair-raising Halloween projects ranging from scary to festive. It is sure to be spooktacular!

Jul7

My crafty family

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My crafty family
My crafty family

 

You might never guess it from their job descriptions, but I am just one Crayola coming from a whole box of colorful creative types.

Accountant, homemaker, architect, physical chemist, construction engineer and web developer are some of my family member’s day job titles. However, these folks are also incredibly artistic. Well…maybe not the physical chemist… he has so many degrees behind his name and so much knowledge oozing out of his head, that he is more likely to take a spectrometer to a crayon than actually color with it.*  Read the rest of this entry →

Jun19

Who knew weird weather could impede art?

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Who knew weird weather could impede art?

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So, for the last several days I have not completed any new art projects. While there are several reasons for this–almost all of which are exclusively the fault of the Husband™–one factor that I cannot blame him for is a weird weather anomaly that hit Minnesota this past weekend.  Read the rest of this entry →

Jun3

Learn how to brighten someone’s day with this greeting card tutorial

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Learn how to brighten someone’s day with this greeting card tutorial
Learn how to brighten someone’s day with this greeting card tutorial

The Robin’s Nest recently gave a challenge to think outside the box when creating greeting cards. Since I don’t think a box exists that contains enough nooks, crannies, twists and turns to hold my little ol’ brain, this seemed like the perfect challenge.

I love creating three-dimensional and interactive cards such as explosion cards, pop-up cards and cards with secret compartments. (I also like creating irreverent cards with vintage images, but The Robin’s Nest might not want their upstanding name associated with that). At the same time, I think a lot of manufacturers would like designers to get back to the basics and offer tutorials that crafters can complete without an engineering degree, $47K in specialized tools and a tattoo of Tim Holtz’s autograph on their arse.*

With that in mind, I created a three-dimensional card that can be completed in one sitting, requires no special tools and remains flat enough to be mailed in a regular envelope. Read the rest of this entry →

Apr28

Aim your glue gun to create this crafty awesomeness

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Aim your glue gun to create this crafty awesomeness
Aim your glue gun to create this crafty awesomeness

Do you love the masks and stencils that are on the market these days? Buying one or two is certainly reasonable for almost any budget. However, like most art supplies (and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups), it is hard to stop at just one. If you do want to buy some, you might find Artist Cellar and Stencil Girl Products irresistible.

If, however, you would rather spend your money on other things, say, for example, on items like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups your mortgage, then I have a few solutions for you. Over the next several posts, I will share ways you can make your own masks and stencils. In addition to saving money, this can be a fun and artistic process in itself. Read the rest of this entry →

Mar5

Airplanes are hurling bodies from the sky

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Airplanes are hurling bodies from the sky

My art studio is on the third floor of my house and therefore closest to the roof. Normally, it is an inspirational and peaceful place of creativity. Today–not so much.

Today, I sporadically jolt from my chair when I hear tremendously loud thumps above my head. I’m not talking little thuds made by a squirrel here, people. I’m talking thundering booms caused by something the size of a human body. It’s loud. And it’s terrifying.

I know that if I tell my husband, he will–just like any good Minnesotan–sagely nod his head and explain that it is the ice breaking away from the roof. He will patiently tell me that because today is a balmy 16 degrees, we are finally escaping the three month polar vortex of negative zero temperatures, and so the ice dams on the roof are able to melt and break away. Read the rest of this entry →

Feb19

And by swimmingly, I meant

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And by swimmingly, I meant
And by swimmingly, I meant

So my last post extolled how wonderfully my lastest project was going. That remains true. In fairness, swimmingly is a relative concept. For what I perceive as going swimmingly, others might consider a nightmare.

Really this all comes down to the fact that I need to title my next book*, “The Anal Artist.” I can’t seem to let anything go that I don’t consider perfect. A smudge of glue, a smear of paint–all must be fixed. Read the rest of this entry →

Feb12

An ode to vomit and other disgusting bodily functions–and yes, this still is a paper crafting blog

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An ode to vomit and other disgusting bodily functions–and yes, this still is a paper crafting blog

I apologize for my absence. I have been hit hart by the flu bug. I knew it was bad when in my delusions I started creating haikus about the state of my illness. Want to hear one? No? You are wise, but you are also my captive audience (don’t you dare click that mouse!) so you get to hear one anyway.

The Stomach Bug Haiku

Violent ill erupts
Shiver under blanket mounds
Death would be welcome.
 

Don’t worry, since I am a former English major, I am not deluding myself–I know it is horrible. But it’s about all the blogging I can yet manage, so hopefully the horribleness of it will provide some entertainment value.

The good news i that I am back in the studio a little bit and will soon be able to show you the project that has consumed the last two weeks. I’m happy with the results, but I also learned that bigger projects make it diffidult to have consistent blog updates. Either i have to start working a lot faster, or I will have to have a stash of pre-prepared smaller projects set aside for emergency publication.

I’m going back to my mound of blankets. I will see you on the other side of this bug. Make sure you decontaminate your monitor before hopping to the next blog–I don’t want to be responsible for some virus spreading. (The illness hasn’t affected my puns, they are always this bad awesome).